The Evening Mouthful

reasoned splutterings & hasty wisdom

Great Expectorations Chapter IX

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The New World
A Dark Cloud is Forever Lifted

Welcome to Chapter IX of Great Expectorations, the Foopaux Podcast. This is Dave Dueck, Fourth Dueck in Line for Top Dog in the Legacy.

“O LORD, our Lord,
How excellent is Your name in all the earth,
Who have set Your glory above the heavens!

Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants
You have ordained strength,
Because of Your enemies,
That You may silence the enemy and the avenger.

When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers,
The moon and the stars, which You have ordained,
What is man that You are mindful of him,
And the son of man that You visit him?
For You have made him a little lower than the angels,
And You have crowned him with glory and honor.

You have made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands;
You have put all things under his feet,
All sheep and oxen—
Even the beasts of the field,
The birds of the air,
And the fish of the sea
That pass through the paths of the seas.

O LORD, our Lord,
How excellent is Your name in all the earth!”
–Psalm 8

I have become intimately acquainted with three unique sensations during the past week: the incredible sting of alcoholic aftershave, the annoyance of bending forward to examine one’s face in the bathroom mirror and inadvertently getting one’s lap soaked on the wet counter’s-edge, and of being so unreservedly blessed and closer-drawn to Christ that my face is weary from smiling. In consideration of your sensitivity and limited time, I will dwell largely on this last phenomenon.

Despite my present joy and unbridled display of the same, though, I believe I am unable to fully make it known to you: to articulate it properly, to put into concise and precise language the context for a security, a warm awareness of God’s strength and protection and benevolence, which to me hitherto has been sought after and occasionally glimpsed, but unknown in reality. Now I have it, and I want more. And the best part is, I will have more. It never ends.

Here, for lack of a better method of explaining myself, I will allow you a look at my journal. The following is taken from a recent entry I made, in which I feebly but eagerly tried to grasp and make known to myself these new realizations of the Power of Grace, and the Freedom with which God gives it:

“Love’s definition, as I have been made to understand it so far, and as it has been embodied in Christ, the perfect and all-defining manifestation of Genuine Love, is this: “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” It is the sacrificial pouring-out of everything one is, and hopes to be, for the benefit of another, and entirely for their well-being: inherently unselfish, devoted and directed completely outwards with no regard  for one’s own self. The considering in any way of anything regarding one’s self must be totally dismissed.

“God’s Love is unselfish, as we have seen: is then not His very Holiness a sign of Benevolence? Are not His works and sacrifices for us? Can it be then that even His impossible-to-satisfy Law is engineered for our own benefit? If we are willing to obey Him in everything, to sacrifice that which needs to be sacrificed so that we may stand in His will, and be centered confidently in and assured of our identity and new nature in Christ, then even His strictness is revealed as a merciful method to enrich our relationship with Him: to clear away anything which might hinder true communion and loving consummation between created and Creator.

“And perhaps the greatest Evidence of His Love in all of this is that He promises to do the necessary work for us, by doing it through us: part of realizing His Love is realizing how little we not only need to do but also how little we possibly can do, how needlessly we rely on our own strengths, efforts and abilities: and how utterly free and magnificent our lives can be as a consequence.”

What has happened to me is that I have been made to see and experience much more clearly than ever before the power of God’s Grace: the Power He freely gives me to let Him live through me. To Love through me. To Speak through me. To act and work through me. To laugh and sing through me. To sound the charge through me, and to guide my arm in battle: even to fight and conquer through me. That is Grace: or, at least it is a part of Grace. But it is a big part, and I am seeing more of it by the minute.

I have been proud. Not because of any merits or talents or qualities I ever possessed, or hoped to possess. But I have been proud in believing myself worthy of bettering, worthy of beating into shape, and, failing that, worthy of lamenting. In other words, whether I was thinking highly of myself or lowly, I was thinking on myself. I even deluded myself, rationalized that belief in an invented philosophy I guess I could title “A Godly Self-Focus”: I truly believed that if I thought myself unable to be worthless, and strove to better myself, and to increase my usefulness, while somehow maintaining that false humility, then, succeed ot fail, I could more easily merit His favour.

Galations 6 contains this warning: “For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.” I would also submit that a man who thinks himself nothing, or attempts to think himself nothing, when He is actually a new-natured and treasured Member of the Body of Christ, is also deceiving himself. And deception, last I checked, was a sin.

We needn’t think of ourselves as tools of varying levels of usefulness, but as treasures: not as instruments, but as cherished objects of Love and Heavenly Devotion. Any use we are to God is directly from and because of His living in us, and not because of our self-born actions and intents.

I was incredibly reinforced in this tremendous revelation as my Mom read aloud from My Utmost for His Highest, in the entry for February 21: “Personal Holiness focuses on the eye of our own whiteness; we are greatly concerned about the way we walk and talk and look, fearful lest we offend Him. Perfect Love casts all that out when once we are abandoned to God. We have to get rid of this notion – “Am I of any use?” and make up our minds that we are not, and we may be near the truth. It is never a question of being of use, but of being of value to God Himself. When we are abandoned to God, He works through us all the time.”


This has been Chapter IX. In other news, we’ve had six inches of brand new snow, gone sledding and played a marvelous hockey game in a rink that took absolutely forever to shovel off. My job search continues, my article-writing is more consistent, and my bathroom cleaning has produced enough revenue to enable me to attend the upcoming Leahy concert, which I anticipate with an insane degree of eagerness.

This week has been one of the great cornerstones in my life, an important crossroads, and a challenging summit. Praise God: may He lead me higher still, and may we all grow bigger and brighter and more beautiful as we ascend together, until we are lost in him.

Love All,

Dave Dueck

PS: Mikal wins last week’s contest, with six points. The answers are:
Clip 1: “Prologue” from Birth by Alexandre Desplat
Clip 2: “Tears of Joy” from Partition by Brian Tyler
Clip 3: “Morning Passages” from The Hours by Philip Glass
Clip 4: “Casper’s Lullaby” from Casper the Friendly Ghost by James Horner

Written by Dave Dueck

February 22, 2009 at 6:16 pm

Posted in journal, quote

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